Week 33

Writing down my thoughts and feelings through this upheaval has proved really helpful to me. I highly recommend it. There is no reason you need to share it with the world as I have, but spilling my guts has really helped me to deal with the stress of it all. You probably guessed that I would never be considered a “private” person which is hilarious when you look at how opposite I am from my husband. He wouldn’t even let me put his name in here until recently. :o) But just so you know, what I put in here isn’t the sum total of my angst and troubles. The reason I feel compelled to say so is that when I read this journal, it seems to have more of a rosy glow than my real life. Some of what is left out is too personal, (even for a woman with no secrets!) some stuff needs to stay between James and I, and some of it contains language offensive even to sailors. 

I attended the first half of a “Breastfeeding and Beyond” class held at the hospital. A lot of the information I already knew from stuff I had

read, but it was great to see video of the elusive latching on procedure demonstrated properly. After all, almost everyone I have witnessed breastfeeding is very modest here in America, so it’s not like you can see how it’s done. The next class will go into breast pumps, storage of milk, etc. which I am really interested in. The highlight was a video they showed – it so moved me I wish I could watch it again. It depicted a series of hours-old newborns placed on their mom’s naked bellies. I watched in awe as this brand new little being wiggled his way up her belly, found her nipple, latched on and nursed all by himself. His disproportionate head bobbed up and down as he sniffed and rooted for the milk source through parted lips. Every inch of squirm was a major endeavor for brand new muscles that didn’t do as they were told. I imagined being that mother and decided they’d have to strap down my hands to keep me from at the very least rubbing my baby’s back during this struggle. When the lights came up I glanced around and was surprised to be the only one moved to tears by this. Hey we’re talking about a room full of pregnant women after all. As I drove home I thought about why I was so touched by it. We’re mammals and I’ve seen newborn kittens do the same thing, so I’m aware of the biology of instinct. Maybe that’s how the other women looked at it. I think it was more symbolic for me – a living enactment of the human spirit that triumphs over huge adversity… and right from our very beginning.

 

OK Miss Julia, here’s the deal: Been thinking about your birthday and I’ve come up with a pretty good schedule of events. Your shower is this coming Wednesday. After that, we will purchase whatever supplies are still needed for your arrival. I am still waiting to experience that surge of adrenaline known as “nesting” which I plan to use to clean up this filthy house. Your Nana can fly here on July 7th. After that, Daddy and I just need to attend the childbirth class on July 8th. Please make the contractions begin right when you hear the instructor say something like, “If there aren’t any more questions, you can go” because the class is held at the hospital and we’ll already be up there. Also do whatever necessary to ensure that your lungs are fully cooked by this date. Work for you?

 Preconception

 It’s + !

 Week 4

 Week 9

Week 10

Week 11

Week 12

 

Week 13

 Week 14

 Week 15

 Week 16

 Week 17

 

 Week 23

 Week 24

 Week 30

 Week 31

 Week 32

Week 37

Week 38

 Week 39

 

Going to the hospital!